The Benefits of Assertiveness
So finally being assertive leads to
Hi I'm Christine Hassler. I'm a life coach, author and speaker, here today with About.com to talk to you about the benefits of being assertive.So first, let's identify what assertiveness is and what it isn't. Assertive people are clear, honest, direct and kind. Assertiveness is not being pushy, being whiny, being aggressive, or trying to get what you want.Now the first benefit of being assertive is you'll have fewer conflicts, internal and external. Fewer internal conflicts because you're not pushing your truth down. You're saying what’s on your mind, rather than expecting other people to read your mind. You have fewer external conflicts as well, because you're not being pushy or complaining, you're just being direct and clear.So the second benefit to being assertive is you have a lot less regret. Think about all those times that you didn't stand up for yourself or you didn't say what was really on your mind. You go into a lot of thinking like "oh I wish I would have done it this way" or "I wish I would have said that," and that produces a lot of stress in your body. So when you speak your truth and you say it with honesty and clarity, you experience a lot less regret. So the third benefit to being assertive is you actually get what you want. Let me give you an example. Say you go out for dinner and you order something and when the food comes, the order isn"t exactly what you asked for. You have two choices. You can either eat a mediocre order that wasn"t what you wanted, or you can practice being assertive and say, "hey this isn’t exactly what I ordered" and send it back so that you actually get what you want. Being assertive in life is like that. When we ask for what we want, we actually get it.So the fourth benefit to being assertive is more quality and healthy relationships. Think about it this way -- when you're communicating what you want, that increases someone else's ability to actually give you what you want, thereby creating a much more sustainable and enjoyable relationship.So finally being assertive leads to increased levels of self-confidence. You start to trust yourself more, decisions become easier and you start taking much better care of yourself.Thanks for watching. To learn more, visit us at About.com.