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British comedy
Question
In the comedy skit, when the policeman has trouble with handwriting, it is suggested
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And the vehicle belongs to you, does it sir?

Yes.

Were you driving it at the time?

Yes, I was. Yes

Alright, just have your name please,sir?

Right. Hold on a second.

Ready?

My name is Derek ...

What are you doing?

That's my name.

What is?

This. Derek ...

That's your name?

Yes.

What? Derek ... is your name?

Yes.



What kind of name is that?



Well it's my name.



Unusual, isn't it, Mr ...



If I had a pound for every time someone's said that ...

And how do you spell ... , Mr ...?



It's as it sounds.



Uuh. Yeah but I wonder if you'd mind actually spelling it for me, would you?



Well I mean, can't you just ...



Stephen I'd be very grateful if you spell it for me.



N-I-P-P-L hyphen E.



Nipple.



I beg your pardon?



Nipple.



Nipple? Where? What are you talking about?



N-I-P-P-L-E ...



Hyphen E.



Hyphen E ... spells Nipple. It does not spell ...



Have you gone mad? What's the matter with you? I thought the modern policeman was supposed to be a highly trained law enforcement unit. You can't even spell.



Alright, Mr Nipple, if I can have your address, please?



What's your address?



Are you talking to me?



Yes.



You want to know my address?



Please.



Or do you want to know Mr Nipple's address, whoever he is?



Your address please.



My address, right. My address is Number twenty-two ... Kings Lynn.



Now watch it.



What?



Just watch it.



Watch what,for heaven's sake?



You do realize, do you, that assaulting a police officer is an extremely serious offense?



Yes, I imagine it probably is. Very serious. But giving your address to a policeman, on the other hand, isn't very serious, is it? Or is it? Perhaps the law's changed since I last looked. Perhaps the Home Secretary has had to take stern measures against the rising tide of people giving their address to policemen whenever they're asked to.



Alright. Alright. Let's just check this with you, shall we, Mr ... ?



Yes



Your address is twenty-two ... Kings Lynn?



Hugh No, no, no! What's the matter with you? Are you deaf? It's twenty-two... Kings Lynn.



Oh, Sorry. I though it's twenty-two ...Kings Lynn.



Well it isn't.



I can't read my own writing.



Well get a typewriter.



If only we could afford it. You know, it's funny, from some angles, it looks like twenty-two ...... Kings Lynn.



That was too hard.



Well like you say, we really should get a typewriter.



That was too hard.



Well, you must admit that it's a difficult address to get the hang of ...



Never mind the freaking sketches! That was too hard. That really hurt.



Oh diddums. He's just a child really.

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