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Tips for Improving Communication in Conflict
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If the other person feels heard, he will be
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Tips for Improving Communication in Conflict
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Hi, I'm Sarah Convery with About.com. Conflict and arguing is a natural part of every relationship. It's even considered healthy to disagree every now and again. But when the conflict gets to the point where, rather than helping you to resolve issues, it brings you further apart, it is time to take a step back and re-examine your approach to conflict. Here are some tips to improve communication during conflict, using information from About.com's stress management site.Most of the time during a fight, people think they are listening. But in reality they are thinking about what they are going to say next or only focusing on their own thoughts. Effective communication is only possible when you are truly listening to what your partner is saying, you don't interrupt, do your best to understand their point of view and ask questions if necessary. If the other person feels heard, they will be also more willing to listen to you.Do not bring past arguments in to the current one, or remind them how many times they have made the same mistake. This only clouds your vision and makes the conflict even bigger and more confusing. Stay focused, and keep the argument and your feelings in the present.Very often people will blame each other for the cause of the problem. Rather than saying “You did this” and “You did that”, state your arguments with “I” to let them know how you feel and are affected by the situation. If no one is pointing an accusatory finger, there will not be much need to get defensive, and then both will remain more focused on listening to each other's points of view. Thinking about winning the fight will only make things worse. Instead, be honest and admit when you are wrong.  This will help to soften the conflict and inspire the other to respond with the same level of maturity. If both share responsibility in the conflict, it will be easier to find a solution that satisfies the needs of both partners.   If necessary, take a break from the argument. Don't let the fight get too heated, because this will likely only negatively affect your reasoning. It's okay to take some time out, until both cool down and can come back to the problem with a better and more rational attitude.It is important to learn how to deal with conflict because it is present in every important relationship that we have. Remember, improving communication skills in your relationship will only make it stronger. Thanks for watching. To learn more visit us on the web at About.com
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